Ohio Newshound

*- Apologies to author Tim O’Brien (no relation) for borrowing (parodying? parroting?) the title of his work “If I Die In A Combat Zone”

If I couldn’t turn back the clock to the day I was laid off or any day previous to prevent losing my job due to economic conditions in the newspaper industry … If I couldn’t turn back the clock and go back to college and choose another major so that I could do something else like become a nurse or a lawyer or anything else …

… I would offer the following advice to anyone who is getting laid off or has been laid off recently and worries about the next few months. It’s less job-seeking advice and more “how to live now that you don’t have a job” advice. Some of this advice, my own advice, I wish I’d followed in retrospect. Some of it I did, and learned from the experience, and am better for it.

This isn’t expert advice. It doesn’t come from some B.S. book or anything like that. It’s just my own experiences, better or worse.

1) Don’t Panic. Easy enough, right? We all go through the stages of grief, which definitely suck, but we all go through them at our own speed. So don’t freak out. Don’t commit suicide. Don’t threaten suicide. Don’t go smash-up your former workplace. Burning bridges is a bad idea, because when the opportunity arises, you may have to re-cross that bridge. Seriously, it was a job. It may have been a DREAM job, but it is not worth killing yourself over.

2) Use Your Severance Wisely. If you get a severance, and companies don’t have to give you this but some do, use it carefully. If you can, maybe put down a chunk of it against your rent if you have an understanding landlord. Don’t go spend it all in a shopping spree to help yourself feel better. You’re going to need to parcel it out slowly. Maybe put some in an interest-earning account. It won’t earn much, but it may earn a little. And use that medical coverage, if it is being maintained for a month or more beyond your termination/release date. Talk to your doctors, dentists, chiropractor. Set up a check-up ASAP and get as many medications you might need and can afford ahead of time so you won’t be wanting later. Get the number, name, address of a good free clinic from a trusted physician and utilize it when the benefits run out.

3) Cut Up Your Credit Cards. You will thank me on this one. It’s one of the pieces of my own advice I didn’t follow. I kept using mine, and I’m now drowning in credit card debt. Pay off what you can with the money you have saved, and just cut up your cards and toss them out. You’re going to be going out looking for a job soon, and

4) Work Your Contacts. As a journalist, this was easy for me. I have dozens upon dozens of business cards I kept on hand throughout the years and I called tons of these folks for advice or possible jobs. Neighbors, old friends, school friends, friends-of-friends, social clubs … these folks know other folks, some of whom might be looking to hire. Alumni organizations are great to network. I’m glad there is a growing one from my college in this area. I’d have been really lost without some of their input and advice. If you went to a private high school, the alumni network is another great way to get back on your feet.

5) Use Government Assistance. I haven’t signed up for food stamps … yet. But it’s coming, and it’s coming soon. Your taxes have already paid for this, so get while the getting is good. Better to save that money in your severance for other bills, and subsist on the basics for a while. Apply for unemployment, too, as long as you haven’t been terminated for cause. You will need it. Be forewarned, most unemployment benefits won’t pay out until your severance money is gone.

6) If You Can Downgrade, Do It. Look for a new car/home insurance company that might be able to give you a better price. Save your statements and take them to your insurer’s competitors. This could save you loads. I wish I had done this earlier …

7) Entertainment Can Be Cheap. If you’re a movie junkie and you just can’t live without that rental on a Friday night … keep in mind many local libraries rent DVDs as well as books. I have seen every film I want to see on my local library’s DVD shelf by now. They even had some classics I hadn’t seen in years that I re-visited with fondness. And there are some movie theaters that run second-run or original run movies for $1 or a little more. That means you could go to the movie theater and see TWO films AND buy popcorn for the price of just ONE film at the regular first-run cinema.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help. Overdraft your bank account? Call the bank and see if they can’t eliminate some of those overdraft charges. I did, for a particularly bad financial week, and they were uber-helpful. It wasn’t much, but it did make a difference. If you have family who can help, ask them. I’ve got an AMAZING family that has done everything from send money to send potential job ideas, pieces cut out of the newspaper that gave career advice (though I’ve noticed that at least 8 out of 10 “professional career advisers” are complete bullsh*t artists who wouldn’t be “professional career advisers” if they could get a real job themselves … beware anyone who calls themself an “expert” on anything, especially “Internet dating” or “careers.” )

9) Don’t Give Up Hope. This is basically the same thing as “Don’t Panic.” I’ve had a lot of really shitty nights where I thought nothing was ever going to go my way. I had a job interview that came up, and where I thought I was awesome, they thought I was awesome, too. The Big Boss didn’t see it that way, though. But I kept on plugging away, firing off my resume wherever I could.

Still waiting for that call back from my dream employer. And while my cupboards are bare and I’m behind on my bills, I’m not giving up. I do wish I’d done some things differently, made some better decisions about my finances and my life in the interim … but I’m alive and that’s what matters right now. We’re in a national funk, and I’m in a personal funk, but I (and we) will make it out somehow.

ALMOST FORGOT: 10) If You Can Freelance, Freelance. This goes out mostly to the graphic designers and writers among us who got the big, ugly ax. Or anyone with skills that people seek on a freelance basis (I don’t know … mercenary work??? I hear there are some wars going on around the globe …). I’m in the middle of my second freelance gig with the same Northeast Ohio hospital. I make my own hours (I don’t get paid if I don’t do the work, so I’m inclined to work my @ss off …) and I get to do some interesting stories. I even came up with one of my own that I’m going to pitch to a magazine. There’s nothing the bean-counters love more than not paying benefits to someone who does the work anyway. And for relatively cheap.

OH, AND: 11) Don’t Stop Looking For New Jobs.